a drag

Mama's draggin' today. PMS, a cold, and maybe remnants of the predictable annual spell of fall weather melancholy, and I'm completely done. Except that I'm not done by a long shot. I had a few hours this morning to myself -- ordinarily prime writing time. But after seeing Kay and Dee off to their schools (having forgotten Kay's homework and practically bursting into tears when a well-meaning new acquaintance asked with too much concern if I was okay), I came home, crawled back into bed, and listened to This American Life and Fresh Air podcasts. And I drank tea -- no coffee. It literally hurt to get out of bed when I finally had to go collect my brood.

Now the kids are home and a long afternoon ahead of us. Not done. Can't be done. Cannot be done. Must go on. Must figure out a plan. Must pay attention. Must... must... must...

Some aspects of motherhood are grueling.

Thank god for the Sacramento Public Library's stories online which is, at the moment, entertaining them while they eat lunch, and I sit nearby, taking this brief break to type -- though I'd rather be lying under my down comforter, eyes closed, a pot of tea on the bedside table.

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